Putting a loved one in a nursing home is a difficult decision regardless of the circumstances. In the case of Alzheimer’s, most research shows that at some point in the progression of the disease a nursing home becomes the right decision for the family in Colonia. According to the US Department of Health and Human Services, there are nearly 2 million people currently living in some form of nursing home. Over 90% of these residents are over 65 years old and most require 24 hour supervision due to some physical limitation or dementia.
Nursing Home Care and the Elderly - I Thought We Had a Contract
Alzheimer’s disease is an extremely sad and difficult condition to work with. This disease is very difficult on the family members in Colonia. Just thinking that as the days slip by your aging loved one will soon become more and more distant. This can be very depressing and an emotional time for most family caregivers. Besides the common emotion of depression, most family members often feel angry, frustrated, and even at a loss for words.
Nursing Homes Versus Adult Daycare
I thought we had a contract, reverse parenting so to speak. I look after you and you look after me when the time comes for reciprocation. For some of you I'm sure it would be considered a selfish expectation of my children. I don't think so; because it is a contract we formed when each of them was born. Their precious little lives belonged to me; their fate in my hands until they reached adulthood and could fend for themselves.
When I held them in my arms, our silent contract and bond was forged. We became dependent on one another, in my mind our lives would be forever intertwined. I looked after them at the most vulnerable parts of their lives and at some point I trusted they would do the same for me, their protector, their confidante, loving friend and mother. I thought we had a contract.
My children were my life. I took care of them and answered their every need. How could I deny them? Being a parent can be a thankless job. When they were hurt, I was there to render my love, attention and an occasional trip to the hospital. My dedication to them for their well-being never wavered. I thought we had a contract.
I take care of you my children until you can discern the world for yourselves and when I begin to age and my mortality becomes something that can no longer be ignored, my hope has been and is that you will honor our contract initiated at your birth.
The silent pact I made with my children has now been consummated. I find myself dependent on them, trusting their judgment and compassion as they did with me. They are now in control of my life, where I live, what I wear and even my finances. My mental state, despite my stroke was left intact without any effects on my speech, but only my will to walk, to be back in control of my life. My will to be me still prevails despite the living arrangements and choices my children have made for me.
I have to believe that I exist occasionally in thought as proven by the infrequent visits of my family and friends. There are many days that loneliness becomes a burden. I feel that I am slowly becoming only a memory not only to my family, but also to those who mattered to me most before my sequestration in this place. So, I wait. The time spent disconnected and suspended by emptiness gives one ample time to ponder life as it is and what it was.
I suppose the easy thing to do would be to give up, succumb to this dreadful existence. My children come see me when they can. I can no longer choose how frequently I see them, my family members or friends. I no longer have that choice.
The fact still remains, I want to go home. For living here for me is not living. I wish to discuss the terms of this contract, but as each day passes it does not appear a negotiation is possible. My children seem oblivious to my plight.
They are comfortable with the obligatory visitations on those special days of the year when family is supposed to draw near. So, I wait and fill my empty moments with memories as a little of myself is given up to the scheduled daily tasks of the staff. I am slowly coming to terms with my situation because it's binding and for me, one sided. I thought we had a contract...
How to Find the Best Live in Personal Care Agencies in Colonia,Middlesex County?
"Alzheimer's is not a sprint. It's a marathon." This was what the memory care center manager told us during our first care conference. It took a while for this to sink in fully. She was encouraging our family to find a balance between caring for our loved one who has Alzheimer's and still maintaining a life for ourselves. A sprinter focuses on speed for a short distance but soon runs out of strength. Just as a marathon runner trains for endurance, an Alzheimer's caregiver must approach this disease with the long run in mind.
When we first became responsible for an aunt with Alzheimer's, our lives drastically changed. It often felt as if our lives were spinning out of control. There was little time for anything or anyone other than Aunt Betty. We finally realized that it would be impossible to continue at the same pace. If we failed to take care of ourselves, we might not be able to continue caring for her. Alzheimers can be a long, slow process. It is essential that Alzheimers caregivers take care of themselves, too.
Alzheimer's support groups are usually available at churches, community centers, facilities specializing in memory care, and nursing homes. Check your local yellow pages for groups in your area. If you're not comfortable in a group setting, a private session with a licensed counselor or pastor could prove helpful.
Finally, make it a priority to have relationships with others who have no connection with Alzheimer's. Everything in your life does not have to be about the disease. For your own mental, physical, and emotional health, develop friendships with people who can provide an escape.